Men are usually heartwrenchingly desirous to please their partner. One of the few human endeavors that fails to improve with concentration and determination is CREATING an erection. So we can forget Maxwell Gladwell\’s 10,000 hour rule for greatness when it comes to achieving and maintaining an erection.

Viagra does make a normal erection firmer and reliable, even in new loving encounters. Some men have developed a situation with a new lover. Many men use Viagra as a psych med because they view sex as a performance issue which is based in reality. But sometimes, when the new love discovers he has been using Viagra, she views it as trust issue. She thought he was soooo erect because she turned him on. NOW HE\’S STUCK. Oh my!

He didn\’t want to be untrustworthy, he just thought she would be disappointed in him if he stopped using Viagra – because then his penis wouldn\’t be as hard and he wouldn\’t be able to have sex as often. This is very common when men date women years (sometimes decades) younger than them.

Actually, thinking about this, I am very curious. Because older women in their 60s would have no problem keeping up with a much younger man. But older women usually want more than erectile prowess. There are many apt French sayings, such as \”it is the best feeling in the world to be loved, not in spite of our flaws, but because of them.\” Talk to your love, after sex. Women need to remember that we talk BEFORE sex and men usually talk AFTER sex. Maybe the next day or week, it\’s OK. We are different.

Out of bad comes good. Medicine has made it possible for any man to have an erection, either with medication or penile injections. So please relax. In the process perhaps we shall all learn the goal of sex is intimacy in addition to what most already think.

Entered on May 21, 2011 by Dr. Roberta Foss-Morgan